Tag Archives: possibilities

I Keep Promises To Myself

Standard

That’s what the post it on my desktop says. “ I keep promises to myself.”  It’s true I keep promises to myself.  and I have proof:

My actual desktop. And yes, I do have a post-it that says, "Be more romantic with Bradford."

My dear friend, Deirdre** has a new boyfriend.  We were catching up, and she was giving me the rundown of the romance.  I said, “That’s so great, you two are in love….”  Deirdre cut me off, “Oh, no, we don’t say that yet.” 

“Do you feel it?” I asked.
Well, “I’m falling in love, but I would never say it first.” she replied.

Ahhhh, it reminded me of the promise I had made to myself a long time ago. 

I promised myself that if I was ever lucky enough to love someone, I would tell them.

Simple right?  Well, it’s just about the best and hardest thing to do.

I told Deirdre this story:  After Bradford and I been dating a few months, we were in his bedroom and he was lying on the floor by the closet (I remember it perfectly) and when I looked over at him, I had the feeling of a, rush of new love come forward out of me.  “I love you.” almost just fell out of my mouth.  I caught myself and stopped before it came out. 

Later, when I was alone and processing this new information that I was in love with Bradford, I remembered my promise to myself.  Uh-oh.  “Oh my God, I can’t tell him that I love him.”  I dreaded this position:  “If I don’t tell him, I am a big fat liar, make promises I don’t keep.”  Even worse, “if I do tell him, I risk all sorts of rejection, awkwardness, and a bunch of other scary stuff that I don’t know what it is, but it’s scary!”

So, guess what I did?  I made another promise to myself; in fact it was the same promise:  “If I ever feel that feeling of being in love, I am going to say it.” 

And I did.  The next time I felt my heart swelling with love for Bradford, I said, “I love you.”

I felt victorious (over my ego)!  I felt honorable.  I felt like pure love.  And guess what else?  Bradford didn’t say it back.  He said, “Thank you.”

At this part of the story, Debra asked me, “didn’t you feel terrible that he didn’t say it back?”  The answer is, no, I felt so true and authentic, that I didn’t need him to say it back.  The fact that I felt such love for him was enough.

Debbie said, “Well, how long did it take him to finally say it?”  The truth is, I’m not sure, probably a month or so.  Debra, feeling bad for me, said, “didn’t you feel resentful and insecure all that time, that you had said it and he didn’t?”

The truth is, no.  I felt great. I felt like pure love was coursing through me, and it wasn’t a commodity to be traded for the same in return.  I felt like I could trust myself for keeping that promise.  And I felt lucky to ever love someone so much.

Oh, and guess what?  We did fall madly in love, head over heels in love, and we still are, no joke.

**name changed to protect the new romance

What’s something that you know about yourself?  And what proof do you have that’s it’s true?

Advertisements

Bleeding & Making It Count

Standard

The thoughtful, brave and uber-smart, James Altucher gave me some powerful advice on how to be a great blogger:  BLEED

I heeded his advice, started to bleed on my blog, and then my life took a dramatic turn.  The last six weeks have been the hardest, scariest, most worried time of my life so far.  And…I can’t even really talk about it here (to protect a family member’s confidentiality).  I have been writing (more like journaling) the blog, but not publishing (maybe at a later time).

So, in order to keep my blog going, I may have to lean on you (world) to carry me a bit, and lift me up.  Today, I thank Casey Neistat for lifting my heart, covering for me today , and loaning me the content, “Make It Count“.  (Big props to you @Casey!)

Enjoy, friends!  xoxot.

Welcome To Your Daydream

Standard

My favorite quote from Dr. Ron Hulnick came up when speaking to a student at University of Santa Monica who was very worried about something very important to him.  Ron asked if the worry was helpful to him, and of course the answer was, “No”.  So Ron suggested, 

“Then why not just win in your dreams?”

What if, every time we found ourselves worried about something, we just started day dreaming about something wonderful happening instead?  What if the worry, is just a reminder to consciously reach for a better feeling around that idea that is causing concern?

I would like to play that game.  I’m pretty sure it will take me some practice.  Let’s play together…

1.   What was your most recent worry about?  (really think of one, this will only take a sec)
2.  Can you dream up an alternate scenario in that area of your life where you celebrate instead?   (feel free to float with this)

 That’s it, next time that worry creeps in, and you notice it, maybe you’ll have a new possibility available to you.

Love Rules the World,

Xoxot…

p.s. 

Definition of DAYDREAM

 

: a pleasant visionary usually wishful creation of the imagination