Your Life Will Improve by Following this Simple Daily Practice

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Sometimes it’s hard to see and feel all the love in the world, because we’re not feeling connected, or energetic.  The love is always there, but we may not be receptive to it all the time. 

James Altucher wrote an incredible blog called, “How to be THE LUCKIEST GUY ON THE PLANET in 4 Easy Steps,” and he outlined how he turned his life around using this practice.  Then a guy named Kevin Elliott, was cool enough to break it all down in an easy to use chart.  I put this chart on our refrigerator, and started to do the practice daily. 

Well, sort of.  My version was a bit different (waking up at 5:00 AM and not eating after 6:00 PM didn’t really work for me). 

I decided to adapt my own chart of the practice and am living well with it, and seeing real improvement, so I decided to share it with you.  You can download my revised chart here:   DAILY PRACTICE

Please feel free to share or use as you like.

After a week or so, you’ll start to notice how loving the world is, and how much easier it is to have new ideas flow through you, the energy to implement them, and the clarity to share your love with the world in your own way.

Want to give it a try?  Let us know….

I Keep Promises To Myself

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That’s what the post it on my desktop says. “ I keep promises to myself.”  It’s true I keep promises to myself.  and I have proof:

My actual desktop. And yes, I do have a post-it that says, "Be more romantic with Bradford."

My dear friend, Deirdre** has a new boyfriend.  We were catching up, and she was giving me the rundown of the romance.  I said, “That’s so great, you two are in love….”  Deirdre cut me off, “Oh, no, we don’t say that yet.” 

“Do you feel it?” I asked.
Well, “I’m falling in love, but I would never say it first.” she replied.

Ahhhh, it reminded me of the promise I had made to myself a long time ago. 

I promised myself that if I was ever lucky enough to love someone, I would tell them.

Simple right?  Well, it’s just about the best and hardest thing to do.

I told Deirdre this story:  After Bradford and I been dating a few months, we were in his bedroom and he was lying on the floor by the closet (I remember it perfectly) and when I looked over at him, I had the feeling of a, rush of new love come forward out of me.  “I love you.” almost just fell out of my mouth.  I caught myself and stopped before it came out. 

Later, when I was alone and processing this new information that I was in love with Bradford, I remembered my promise to myself.  Uh-oh.  “Oh my God, I can’t tell him that I love him.”  I dreaded this position:  “If I don’t tell him, I am a big fat liar, make promises I don’t keep.”  Even worse, “if I do tell him, I risk all sorts of rejection, awkwardness, and a bunch of other scary stuff that I don’t know what it is, but it’s scary!”

So, guess what I did?  I made another promise to myself; in fact it was the same promise:  “If I ever feel that feeling of being in love, I am going to say it.” 

And I did.  The next time I felt my heart swelling with love for Bradford, I said, “I love you.”

I felt victorious (over my ego)!  I felt honorable.  I felt like pure love.  And guess what else?  Bradford didn’t say it back.  He said, “Thank you.”

At this part of the story, Debra asked me, “didn’t you feel terrible that he didn’t say it back?”  The answer is, no, I felt so true and authentic, that I didn’t need him to say it back.  The fact that I felt such love for him was enough.

Debbie said, “Well, how long did it take him to finally say it?”  The truth is, I’m not sure, probably a month or so.  Debra, feeling bad for me, said, “didn’t you feel resentful and insecure all that time, that you had said it and he didn’t?”

The truth is, no.  I felt great. I felt like pure love was coursing through me, and it wasn’t a commodity to be traded for the same in return.  I felt like I could trust myself for keeping that promise.  And I felt lucky to ever love someone so much.

Oh, and guess what?  We did fall madly in love, head over heels in love, and we still are, no joke.

**name changed to protect the new romance

What’s something that you know about yourself?  And what proof do you have that’s it’s true?

Bleeding & Making It Count

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The thoughtful, brave and uber-smart, James Altucher gave me some powerful advice on how to be a great blogger:  BLEED

I heeded his advice, started to bleed on my blog, and then my life took a dramatic turn.  The last six weeks have been the hardest, scariest, most worried time of my life so far.  And…I can’t even really talk about it here (to protect a family member’s confidentiality).  I have been writing (more like journaling) the blog, but not publishing (maybe at a later time).

So, in order to keep my blog going, I may have to lean on you (world) to carry me a bit, and lift me up.  Today, I thank Casey Neistat for lifting my heart, covering for me today , and loaning me the content, “Make It Count“.  (Big props to you @Casey!)

Enjoy, friends!  xoxot.

Kindness Is More Powerful Than Chocolate

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The other day my blog was about bumping into a woman I used to know and she thanked me for a kind I act that I had done (I didn’t remember it, and I don’t think I thought of it as me doing a nice thing at the time).  The blog was about the power of kindness.

Today, it happened again, but in complete reverse!  This time it was me who had received the kindness.

Bradford and I were taking a walk in the neighborhood today, and the only person we saw the whole time was an older man with a walker and wearing a “Korean Veteran” baseball cap.  He had a big brown dog off leash.  We stopped to pet the dog and say hello.  We chitchatted about the trees on the street  that were all marked for removal.  During this conversation, he said his name was John Lehne.  I was surprised and caught off guard, my eyes started to swell with tears when I heard his name.

When I was 10 years old, my neighbor friend named Solvang, asked me to take over her afternoon newspaper route for the local Santa Monica paper called The Evening Outlook.  I took over her route for the week, but then she never came back (they had actually moved, and somehow I thought they were going on vacation).  So, with an accidental job at the age of 10 in 1979, I would come home after school and  the newspapers would be waiting on my doorstep.  I would fold them up, and put rubber bands around them, pack up my bike, and go deliver papers on the 10 blocks around our apartment building.

It was a pretty hard, lonely job.  Most people in our neighborhood were still out at work, as I was dutifully leaving them their evening news to enjoy.  But, there was one bright ray of sunshine towards the end of the last street every day.  The nice Mr. Lehne and his sweet whippet dog, would come to greet me every day as I walked up the steps of his property.  He was old, slow, and friendly.  I would wait for him to slowly amble down the walk way and pet his dog while I waited.  I would hand him the paper and he would hand me one wrapped, foreign, gourmet chocolate.  And, everyday he would say to me, “Make sure you wait until you get home and wash your hands before you eat it.”  My hands were really inked stained by this part of the day.  “Yes, Mr. Lehne,” I would say and run off to finish my route.  But, as soon as I was out of Mr. Lehne’s site, I would rip off the wrapper and savor and smile, while eating this delicious chocolate.  He was there every day, and so was I.  It felt close.  It felt good.  Many years later I would occasionally nostalgically remember him and his candy and even more delicious to me, his caring warning against ink poisoning.  His daily kindness always meant something to me. I even shared this story with Bradford sometime ago.

So fast forward to today, this was Mr. Lehne’s 87 year old son in front of me!  (Mr. Lehne is now deceased, Rest In Peace sweet Mr. Lehne).  The childhood feelings of warmness flooded over and I I got to tell my neighbor John Lehne about the kindness his father showed me over 33 years ago.

His face lit up as I described his father, the whippet, the delicious chocolate his father gave me, and how I would sneak around the corner to eat it. 

He was touched, remembering his father through this exchange.  He said to us, “Every afternoon I take this walk, and I talk to my dad during this time.”  We all stood there, Me, Bradford, John Lehne (and I think we all felt the honoree of this moment, Mr. Lehne present with us. )  We stood there, just being in the breeze and the sunshine.

As we said good bye, John Lehne said smiling, “I can’t wait to go home and tell my wife this story about my dad.  Thank you very much for sharing that story!”

I said, “Thank you as well.  Your father’s kindness really meant a lot to me.  I’m so happy to meet you.”  I really meant it.

So once again I am witness that small things can really make a difference in someone’s life. 

Thank You Mr. Lehne, your kindness enriched my life.  Thank You!

Love Rules the World,

xoxot.


Welcome To Your Daydream

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My favorite quote from Dr. Ron Hulnick came up when speaking to a student at University of Santa Monica who was very worried about something very important to him.  Ron asked if the worry was helpful to him, and of course the answer was, “No”.  So Ron suggested, 

“Then why not just win in your dreams?”

What if, every time we found ourselves worried about something, we just started day dreaming about something wonderful happening instead?  What if the worry, is just a reminder to consciously reach for a better feeling around that idea that is causing concern?

I would like to play that game.  I’m pretty sure it will take me some practice.  Let’s play together…

1.   What was your most recent worry about?  (really think of one, this will only take a sec)
2.  Can you dream up an alternate scenario in that area of your life where you celebrate instead?   (feel free to float with this)

 That’s it, next time that worry creeps in, and you notice it, maybe you’ll have a new possibility available to you.

Love Rules the World,

Xoxot…

p.s. 

Definition of DAYDREAM

 

: a pleasant visionary usually wishful creation of the imagination

 

Honey Mouth

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I ran into a woman named Lola that I used to know when I was in my early 20’s working at the California Mart (the wholesale fashion showrooms).  I remembered her as a nice girl who worked as a showroom assistant down the hall selling Only Hearts.  We were the youngest girls on the floor, (compared to the older ladies who had been there selling intimate apparel for decades we were babies), so we would lean on each other if we needed anything (copies, borrow a steamer to iron out wrinkles, etc). 

So, when I knocked into her at Ikea, I was really happy to see her and say hello.  Then she said, “I just have to let you know, that I have been wanted to thank you for the past 15 years for what you did for me.” (????  for what?)  She continued, “Remember when I had an issue with my boss, and you told me I didn’t need her, and that I could be a sales rep myself and have my own showroom?”  I nodded slightly, but I really didn’t remember…”And remember how you went through and showed me the proper way to show a line to the store buyers?  (Note:  I have zero recollection of this) Lola continued, “Well, I did find the courage to get my own showroom and my own lingerie lines to sell, and I have had my own successful business representing over 20 lines for the past 20 years, because of your encouragement and advice.”  Wow.

On the drive home I marveled at how such a small, unmemorable 5 minutes of my life, affected someone else’s in such a positive way.  I was feeling pretty good about myself.  Amazing!  Then I felt a tug, a tug of sadness for every time I have had a sharp tongue and how that could have potentially had the exact same (but negative) effect on someone’s life. Uh-oh, I don’t like that feeling…so I am going to consciously try to be more loving, encouraging and helpful.  It just feels better when I do.

Have you ever had anyone thank you for something you don’t remember doing?

Love Rules the World,

Theresa

What To Do When You Don’t Want To Do Anything

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Over the weekend, I was at home and I my brain was buzzing with all the stuff I wanted to get done that afternoon.  I was pretty much puttering around, procrastinating doing anything, and guiltily stealing 15 minute chunks of random TV time.  I actually couldn’t just relax because I kept running though the things I wanted to get done (but DIDN’T ACTUALLY WANT TO DO).

So, I went into my office and made a list of all the things I wanted done but didn’t want to do.  When my son, Andrew asked me why I was making a list of thing I didn’t want to do, I decisively told him, that I had no idea why I was making the list, because I had no intention of doing any of it.

After the list was complete, I read it, and said to myself, “It’s just fine if you don’t want to do these things, let it go.  Relax.  There’s nothing pressing here.”  All of a sudden my self-judgment**  about it was gone.

**that day’s self-judgment:  “I’m lazy & unmotivated….blahblahblah…”

Here’s the unexpected (and miraculous?) part:  I went down stairs and cleaned the Time Out Room…and did several other things on the list, quite happily and energetically without much thought at all.

It wasn’t until I came back into the office, and saw the list, and just laughed at myself.  5 out of the 7 items on the list were done!  Easy, no sweat.  I guess I just let go, stopped beating myself up about it, and allowed myself to do the things I really DID want to do after all.  

Can you relate?  I would love to know…xoxot.